Be thankful – be very, very thankful – to laugh at these Florida Man memes
As you all convalesce on your couch in your post-Thanksgiving food comas across the United States, you probably think about all the things that you’re thankful for. From your health to your wealth, there are a variety of blessings that should be counted this year. Chief amongst them? That you can laugh at Florida Man memes without actually being in Florida.
Ah yes, the Florida Man. He’s the living embodiment of WTF energy. The headlines are always the wildest things that you’ve ever heard of in your life. If you’re looking for some absolutely bonkers Florida Man memes, then look no further. Here are some of the craziest things and people that the state of Florida has ever given in history. Sit back and get ready for your jaw to drop.
1. Excalibur but make it Florida
He who pulls the knife from the alligator’s head will become King of the State of Florida. That’s how it goes right? We’re pretty sure that’s how that thing is supposed to go, you know? So, you know, get ready to pull that knife out and become king of the Florida Man.
2. Dark Florida Man meme
Okay, rape is never funny. Neither is bestiality. But, dear Lord, how and why would you ever want to have sex with an alligator?
3. He regrets nothing
This man looks exactly like the sort who would break into prison to hang out with his friends. Look at that face! He regrets absolutely nothing in his life, including that Patriots logo tattooed on the side of his head.
4. We definitely agree with this
Dude, same. Anyone who has ever had a pet dog would totally understand and empathize with this guy’s thought process. But maybe don’t kidnap a scientist unless you’re certain that they’re a mad scientist, you know?
5. A mixtape is not a driver’s license, dude
Showing the mixtape would probably make sense if it was like Drake or some other popular rapper. But if no one knows who you are then showing them your mixtape won’t help anybody at all. Especially the police.
6. Don’t do the Spine Challenge
This is like the Tide Pod, but with more murder involved. Please don’t do the Spine Challenge either way. Removing a person’s spine in order to beat them with it is not real internet challenge! That’s first degree murder, and nobody wants to attempt the “life in prison” challenge.
7. Microwaving a microwave is…a bad idea
This is, however, definitely a way to die in a freak microwave explosion from attempting to microwave a microwave. How did that even work?! How?! Mr. Beast did it, but don’t be like Mr. Beast here, okay?
8. Don’t go right to the bar
Florida Man gets bit by an alligator and goes to get a drink before heading to the hospital. Normal Man goes straight to the hospital and not the bar. You probably feel like you need a drink, but you probably need stitches at least, you know? You want to keep the blood inside of your body.
9. How do you do this to yourself?
Question: how on Earth do you run over yourself? That takes some sort of Rube Goldberg comedy of errors in getting your car to run you over. Granted, maybe he was a little too wild from the club. And, hopefully, this fool drove into his own house.
10. You go, granny
To be fair, if she thinks she’s going to go, then why should she have to pay rent? Or utilities, you know? Just let her have some free stuff and some wild fun before she’s partying it up in the afterlife, you know?