Running and screaming: The most brutal ‘Jurassic Park’ deaths
It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out the body count for the Jurassic Park movies (although it never hurts to hear Jeff Goldblum speak). But with last year’s Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom having stomped through our cinemas, there’s no better time to look back at those who perished more miserably than the rest. “Hold onto your butts!”
6. Mr. Arnold: Jurassic Park
When Mr. Arnold’s forearm flops over Ellie Sattler’s shoulder, it’s obvious that Samuel L. Jackson’s (Pulp Fiction) character didn’t escape with one arm. But at least Fallen Kingdom will see those motherfucking raptors taken off that motherfucking island!
5. Donald Gennaro: Jurassic Park
Donald Gennaro’s (Martin Ferrero) death remains the most iconic in the franchise – no surprise given that he’s whipped straight of the shitter by a tyrannosaurus rex and shaken around wildly. He really should have held onto that weak butt of his a little while longer.
4. Zara: Jurassic World
In an unnecessarily horrible scene, as we are forced to endure Zara’s (Katie McGrath) torture as she’s snatched by a pterosaur, nearly drowned in the lagoon, and then eaten whole by the mosasaur! We can only hope that “life found a way” and she somehow survived.
3. “Unlucky Bastard”: The Lost World: Jurassic Park
While being chased by the T-Rex in San Diego, this unlucky guy makes the mistake of trying to hide in a video store. Though there’s something strangely amusing about his over-the-top screams, the attack is still pretty morbid.
2. Eddie Carr: The Lost World: Jurassic Park
When field equipment expert Eddie Carr (Richard Schiff) desperately tries to save Ian Malcolm (Goldblum) and co. from falling over a cliff, he’s literally torn in two by the adult rexes. At least he probably died before he realized he had an accident, right?
1. Robert Muldoon: Jurassic Park
Game warden Robert Muldoon (the late Bob Peck) meets a grizzly fate when he’s ambushed by a raptor in the jungle. His final words “clever girl” have since become a classic line, but seeing the raptor clamp down on his head is just as unforgettable.